Dear John

What seemed so close was delusory.
You get back from time away to one of those emails you don't want to receive. A kiss-off note from Date Girl.
After all the talking and all the laughter, just another kick in the gut.
Oh well, it never would have lasted, she made spelling mistakes and her syntax was clumsy.

Don't Even Think Of Asking About The Toilets

“Hey, so how was your holiday in Guatemala?”
“Very good, thanks. It’s a fascinating country. The indigenous Maya people built vast cities around 2,000 years ago before falling into decline as first drought and then the Spanish conquistadors devastated their population. After independence, a succession of wars and CIA backed right-wing military dictatorships decimated the country even more, yet the Maya still survive to this day and have managed to keep their rich culture and traditions intact.”
“Oh, wow… Really… So, was it sunny?”

My Bad For Going Somewhere Different

"Hey, I hear you're off on holiday, where are you going?"
"Guatemala," I said.
"Oh, wow... Guatemala... That's like central or south America, right?"
"Yeah, somewhere there," I said.
"Great... Great... So what is there to see there?"
"I don't know."
"Oh... So why... ?"
"Why what?" I said.
"Why Guatemala?"
"Why not?"

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

“Why don’t you write something funny?” she said.
“Nothing funny has happened to me recently,” I replied.
“Enough with the doom and gloom, I demand you write something funny.” She was giving me a hard time. I've known her a long time so I let her.
"Something funny like what?" I asked.
"I don't know, just something funny..."
We sat there, nursing our coffees, and both tried to think of something funny.
The Richard Gere and gerbil joke popped into my head but I don't think it's what she meant.

Cogito Ergo Something

And Another Date

We were sitting at the back of a pub. There was a small theatre there, a proper theatre with seating and a stage. It was not much bigger than the front of the pub.
It was already late. The show was long over and we sitting on long red velvety seats. We had been talking for hours, talking and laughing. People came and went around us, came and went.
On the stage, was a large freestanding Christian cross and some roses taped to the wall. I don't know what the hell the play had been about but it must have been deep and pretentious, just my type. Then someone hung the cross on the wall, out of harm's way. The imagery was jarring.
I got scared that maybe I was in a play. I didn't want this show to end. I closed my eyes and opened them again. She was still there. We talked and laughed some more.
Then I leaned in and kissed her.

Another Date

They were cleaning up around us.
They put chairs on tables, swept up floors, dusted off surfaces. Some mingled around the bar area glaring at us.
We had lost track of time, talking and talking. We were the only table left, a little island of life in the darkening room. I hadn't really seen anybody else, hadn't noticed them come or go. She had me from pretty early on.
But we had to go, it was late and a school night after all. I walked her to a taxi.
Would you like to meet up again? Yes? Yes. Yes!
I don't remember how I got home.
Actually, I do remember, it was the N23 night bus, but it sounds better if you stop above.