Careering Off A Cliff

I’m in my notice period. One month.
I have time to ponder the next step.
This is a great opportunity. One not to be wasted. So I’m writing down some future career options to consider. This is what I have so far:
Child prodigy, stripper clown, angry poet, Dallas Cowboys quarterback, submarine commander, heroic astronaut, war poet, President of the United States, Hooters barmaid, cowboy, Han Solo, trapeze artist (Cirque du Soleil), garden ornament, guerilla poet, male model, women’s volleyball referee, vegetarian, revolutionary, dickhead, jazz fusion dancer, lute repairer, melancholic poet, boyfriend, husband, father, wine taster, sit down comedian, Olympic rower, aimless drifter, Next Big Thing, conjurer, MotoGP rider, Booker prize winner, Golf Sale sign holder, deconstructionist, alcoholic, Marxist poet, flâneur, drummer, incredible Hulk (post freak accident), skating dwarf in Snow White on Ice, Hollywood scriptwriter, cat walker, character in Simpsons...
This is good. This is exciting.

You Can Check-out Anytime You Like

‘It says you have already exited,’ she says.
‘But I haven’t. I’m still here,’ I reply.
I’m coming out of the Tube. The ticket barrier won’t let me exit. People behind me are huffing and puffing.
The assistant runs her Oyster card reader over my card again.
‘It says you have already exited,’ she repeats.
‘I’m trying to exit. It won’t let me.’
The machine won’t let me exit.
Christ, I hope this isn’t symbolic...

Today Is The First Day

I may sometimes give the impression but, let's be clear, I don't hate life.
I don't even hate my life.
What I hate is the shitty life I'm living at the moment.
I’ve done what I thought I should be doing. I’ve had the good job, the good flat, the good girlfriend. I’ve tried to be by being what I’m not. All I ended up was angry.
Worrying about work and bills and cholesterol isn’t a life. Life should be about rawness and discovery and exhilaration. We're animals, after all, not producer-consumer economic units.
So instead of just raging about it, instead of just writing stupid notes about it, I’ve decided to untangle myself and start over.
I quit.
That’s the first step.
Hmm... er... now what?

Reductio Ad Absurdum

This morning I woke up to go to work.
I go to work so that I receive a salary.
I need a salary so that I can pay for food and shelter.
I need food and shelter so that I am fit and healthy.
I need to be fit and healthy so that I can go to work.
The work that pays for me to be able to go to work.
The work that pays me a salary.
The salary that also pays for distraction.
The distraction that allows me to forget about work.
The work that pays for me to be able to forget it.
On closer inspection, removing work from the equation could really reduce my overheads...

Date

"Would you like another drink?" I asked.
We were on a date. She had dark eyes and a smoky voice.
It was going well. We were relaxed, chatting easily, laughing. And it was still only 8:30. Time for another drink, maybe a bite, maybe a coffee.
I was feeling positive. I was Mr Smooth... I was Mr Ladykiller... I was Mr Bombastic-Lover-Fantastic...
"No, I should get back really," she said. "I have some washing to do."
... I was Mr Casanova... I was Mr Irresis... Wait, did she say washing? W-a-s-h-i-n-g?
I searched for the glint in her eye, the smirk on her lips. But there was none. She had some washing to do.
What chance did love stand against such a foe?
We said goodbye. It was still only 8:30. I went to the pub and drank it all away.

I Am No Longer In Love With The Girl From The Chocolate Shop

I changed my mind.

On A Steel Horse I Ride

I'm on the motorbike and I'm motoring.
I'm burning up tarmac.
It's morning and I'm late. I'm late for a meeting and I can't be late.
Every second counts. I'm slaloming cars. Clipping wing mirrors. Jumping amber lights.
All you can see is my tail light disappearing.
I'm riding well. Alert, quick and smooth. I might make it.
I might make it if I don't run out of petrol.
I might make it if it doesn't sputter and die like it just has. If it doesn't kick back into life like it doesn't. If it doesn't leave me stranded on the side of the road like it does.
I'm on the motorbike and I'm not going anywhere.