I may sometimes give the impression but, let's be clear, I don't hate life.
I don't even hate my life.
What I hate is the shitty life I'm living at the moment.
I’ve done what I thought I should be doing. I’ve had the good job, the good flat, the good girlfriend. I’ve tried to be by being what I’m not. All I ended up was angry.
Worrying about work and bills and cholesterol isn’t a life. Life should be about rawness and discovery and exhilaration. We're animals, after all, not producer-consumer economic units.
So instead of just raging about it, instead of just writing stupid notes about it, I’ve decided to untangle myself and start over.
I quit.
That’s the first step.
Hmm... er... now what?
I lead a selfish life in that I do what I want, when I want. I'm pretty happy.
ReplyDeleteSo you left the ivory tower in the City? Moved to the gritty mews' of Bow? Told Ms Right to get packing?
ReplyDeleteThere's a saying: 'The lowest ebb is the turning of the tide.' Surprisingly true I find. In practice the way it seems to pan out is that the cavalry always arrives a day late. Hang on. Sling away the past, start afresh. And if you can't do it all straight away, change your breakfast cereal. I find I am a mix of good states and bad states. The good states tell me what I want more of, the bad less of. When you have that figured and noted, call the lie to the shit life scenario. Inner change is what leads to outer. But cool to make a great big outer change to kickstart the bastard.
ReplyDeleteI'm changing my breakfast cereal to Cheerios...
ReplyDelete