Hilarity & Despair

‘So, how does it feel to back?’ I asked me.
‘Well,‘ I answered me, ‘I have a pain in my solar plexus that just won’t quit. It crawls around, slithers in my insides, clambers up into my throat but I can’t scream it out. Jesus, I feel so sick. I’m sweating a lot. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Sometimes it’s just too hard. I wish I could just lie down and dream it all away, just look into the inside of my lids, into the nothing, into the black. I sit down in front of the laptop and nothing comes out. My hands are permanent fists. I just can’t seem to pull myself out of it, you know, the fire is going out. Damn it all. I wish… I wish… I wish…’
‘Hmm, bit melodramatic don’t you think?’
‘Yeah, you’re right. I feel OK, actually.’
‘So what’s next?’
‘Well, I need to get it back, you know, I need to find it. The wolves are pacing at the door. The sky is turning black, streams of acid rain burn into my skin. Nothing seems to work. I need to snap out of it, to surface from this deep dive, up into the blazing sun, to be warm, to be stronger…’
'So you going to look for another desk job?'