Play Idea

The main character, a bland office worker called Sebathius, quits his job suddenly after feeling the pointlessness of his existence when someone steals his lunch from the fridge. Filled with self-doubt, he walks the streets of London and rages against the world by ringing doorbells and running away. He returns home and there follows a clever long silent sequence in which he ponders if life is an illusion shown by his watching daytime television and frowning. His girlfriend leaves him after a big argument in the meat section of Sainsbury’s and he decides to go travelling and books a bus ticket to Margate. Walking along the beach, he is lost in the contemplation of his own insignificance and only stops when he realises that he has waded out to sea up to his neck. Here follows a brilliant long soliloquy on the alienation caused by consumer culture and the price of cheese. He visits a prostitute and quotes Nietzsche to her for which she charges him extra. He tries to argue that he doesn’t actually exist and she charges him extra for misquoting Heidegger. In the final moving scene, we see him finding authenticity by returning to his old office and unflinchingly asking who took his lunch.
Notes to self: perhaps turn it into operetta with a chorus of nuns? Give it a Chekhov like title, perhaps Uncle Vanya's Sandwich? Replace prostitute scene with vampire fight?